Wow, I feel like I've abandoned this livejournal.  And xanga too for that matter.   Anyways, I have neuro to study so I really shouldn't be blogging.   Just need a break though.

 *Changes page on frog calendar*

It's April!  It's Spring!  And...it's raining, but that's ok! 

My calendar for this month features two monkey tree frogs!!!  Who would have known that such animals existed!  They are my new favorite kind of frog!  :-)   

An interesting fact:  Waxy monkey tree frogs are named for the waxy substance they are able to secrete through their skin, which they spread over their entire body, using their legs, to prevent moisture loss.  

Ah yes, you froggies keep that moisture in and let it rain, rain, rain!  :-)


 

Interviewer:  What do you like to do in your free time?  What do you do when you're stressed out?

Me:  I like to write.  I keep a journal in which I often reflect about the day and what has happened.  It helps me relieve stress and put things into perspective, and improve on myself.

Interviewer:  And do you believe you'll have time to continue this as a medical student and a physician?  

Me:  Oh yes, of course!  

I was so naive.  I understand why they smiled at me with that "oh yeah? really?" challenging tone.  They called my bluff.   They knew I'd have to make some sacrifices.   However, perhaps I've made the wrong sacrifices.

Not to say that I do not write anymore at all.  I do.  Not necessarily in this blog, but in the Other Blog occasionally, and the Old Blog.  Med school has just made it difficult for me to blog as much as I'd like to.  The monotony of studying day after day brings little attention to those moments in life where you really get fixated on something worth contemplating about.  That plus the fact that Biochemistry has consumed some of that reflective opportunity away from causal reflection by making it more or less a chore.  But I still liked that.  I'll greatly miss Biochemistry 1501 and 1502, but now I'm more than happy to have back my freedom to reflect on my own accord.  

I suppose I somewhat understand and empathize with the conservative Republican standpoint now.  The idea that we are all individuals that should have the freedom to do what we want to do without anyone telling us to do it has some validity assuming that our intentions are of benefit to the society as a whole and not entirely selfish.  And yet, I really think most human beings are quite selfish or rather more inclined to focus on self-interests when given the freedom to.  It has almost a bit of a social Darwinistic "survival of the fittest" ring to it, which is ironic considering that perhaps most conservatives do not believe in evolution.  

I have to say that, lately, I have been pretty fed up with the extreme bickering back and forth from liberals and conservatives concerning the way the country should be run.  Now I admit that I don't think I know much about the ideologies.  I've only gotten into thinking about politics since medical school started.  But this is how I see it:

The liberal philosophy is to channel wealth from taxpayers to provide for a basic programs and programs for those not so fortunate in the event of an emergency.  It is like saying that the government should be like parents who help out their children by taking some of their spending freedom away from them so that they can guide them with what they need, and come to the rescue when a few of the siblings get into some trouble.  The cost here is the individual freedom of the children to use the potential of their earnings at their discretion and learn from their mistakes when things don't go right.  It's like still being attached to the umbilical cord, all pampered and spoiled with the security of papa government.   Sure, we're all protected from failure, but we do so by limiting our personal success.  Not only that, but we may be forced to do this unwillingly.  

The conservative philosophy relies a lot on the faith that people as individuals are kind, generous, and unselfish.  The philosophy calls for the umbilical cord to be severed, and the children are allowed to follow their dreams, whatever they may be, without having to deal with parents telling them how to live their dreams the "right" way.  The children do not get told to play nice with their brother or sister.  Rather it is on good faith that they will not fall into selfishness and help out their siblings in their time of need.  Oh yes, because we're all such perfect people like that when given the freedom to abandon others' needs in the prospects of personal gain and self-fulfillment.  The problem here is this:  if just one of the children is "evil" by nature and completely takes advantage of all the others, there's no parental control preventing the fighting that ensues.  The evil ones have placed the parents in a retirement home, forever neglected by all the children. But surely, that won't happen because when people are allowed to focus on what they want to do, their personal agenda will positively affect those around them in the end anyways, right?

To ponder further though, can it really be possible for self-interests to cancel each other other such that it positively influences the interests of all of those in the society?  I doubt it.  If we all focus on our own individual agendas in hopes that it will indirectly improve the lives of others, doing so is almost like painting a picture in hopes that a blind person will be able to see it or composing some song in hopes that a deaf person will be able to hear it.  

Allowing people to spend their time and money only on what they want to do is limiting in that they are not given the opportunity to get out of their bubble and see just what else they can do with their talent.  And it is not that people do not CARE, rather it is because they don't KNOW.  They are not allowed the opportunity to empathize without the knowledge and experience of what is happening on the other side of their bubble.  And what goes on, on the outside, should be of concern to them because what happens on the outside is most often responsible for popping the bubble.  *cue evil child with a pointing finger...POP!*

Sure, we can rely on the faith that all people have the potential to be heroes that can save the world on their own accord, provided that they KNOW about the world and what needs saving.  For this reason, these potential heroes need something to open up their eyes to the world, a mentor of some sort that provides opportunity for one to realize a greater purpose for the abilities we all have.  For this reason we need a parental government to guide the children at first, but almost important is the need for the parents to let go of their child when he or she is ready to save the world on their own and also realize that the children can always come back to papa government when they have been dealt with kryptonite.  They are always there to open you up to the world and its mysteries, hardships, and solutions...but in the end, it is up to YOU to travel the world and do something amazing for it.  

I remarked earlier how much I disliked Biochemistry 1502 for forcing me to reflect on health care issues for the sake of my grade rather than allowing me to reflect on my own by my own motivation, but now I realize that because of the discussions and reflections I was forced to partake in, I now have a new area of interest worth reflecting.  It's not enough for me to reflect about my everyday life anymore.  There's so much more beyond this bubble I've been living in.  There's a much greater world out there, and I can't imagine how I would have ever discovered so much of this world sooner without such a catalyst.  

To give someone abilities, you need a formula.  To make the formula work, you need a catalyst.  To make a hero out of one with a great ability, you need to show them the world.  To make a person out of the hero, you need to let them use their abilities in good faith that they will be no less than amazing.  

I could go on of course, because I just love writing about Heroes.  But I fear that I have digressed and unleashed enough reflection for today.  But I'm glad for writing this.  I know more about where I stand now.  I'm not a liberal or a conservative.  I'm a little bit of both.  I'm a little bit of neither.  I think we can all save the world if we work together putting our differences aside while embracing them at the same time.

Time to gain some knowledge about the world now and live my life to my heart's content.  :-) 

Keep smiling. :-)

Next stop:  New Years Eve!  :-D

Take, for example, our dependancy on oil for transportation.  The rise in gas prices forced many people to be more conservative with their usage.  People started investing into alternative fuel sources, transportation methods, and travel behaviors.  Now that gas prices have dropped to crazy low levels, one would expect that people would start traveling more and consume more gas.  However, according to the news on TV,  people are still traveling a lot less than usual.  The demand for fuel is not as high as before.  We've changed our traveling and fuel wasting lifestyle.  

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could implement such change with regards to our health?  Maybe something can happen to drive people to suddenly eat less at fast food restaurants.  Something that'll drive us to exercise more.  Something that'll drive us to take better care of ourselves.   That something has got to be huge...something inspirational or even devastating enough to hit the core of lifestyles in such a way that it transforms it enough to make a difference.  It won't happen overnight, but I have a feeling that that something has already begun.  

I look forward to seeing that change unravel or help make it unravel over the next few years if possible.

Anyways, just to update whoever reads this,  I've survived my first quarter of medical school.  Hooray!  Final exams have passed, and although I may not have performed brilliantly, I passed, and that may be all that matters at the moment.  To celebrate, a few of my classmates and I went into the city for some karaoke and dancing.  Although the majority of the time was spent in the car getting lost or getting stuck in traffic, it was most certainly good times!   The next day, I went shopping at the mall with some old friends from high school.  It was great to catch up!  I look forward for more of the same during break.  After cleaning my apartment,  I eventually drove back home for break.  Mmmm, homemade cooking you can't get anywhere else. It's great to be home despite the sudden lack of wireless internet among other things. 

I plan on doing two things during this week long thanksgiving break.  I plan on spending lots of time with family and friends during this break.  And, I plan on studying ahead for the next quarter.  If there's anything I've learned this first quarter is that you can never be too ahead of the game.   The game catches up to you very quickly!   Gotta keep running and keep a good distance.

Now then, I must battle this insomnia and try to get some proper sleep.  Sleeping and eating are also priorities this break.  :-)

A peptide (or rather peer-tide) bond links two amigo acids together when they know each other well enough to call one another acquantances, peers, or even friends depending on how flexible the bond may be due to the phi and psi angles of torsion allowing the least steric hindrence.  (two very flexible friends would be two glycines!)  And these amigos are connected to more amigos and so on until you have this awesome long string of amigo acids.

And then comes the secondary sequence aka when friends meet their friends' friends.  Sometimes there may be a little drama when a friend's friend may have a different personality or R-group than another friend's friend.  If one is hydrophobic and the other is hydrophiac...things are not going to work out!   However, there are cases in which mutual friendships can be form...and such things can be quite beautiful.  Through hydrogen bonding or any other intermolecular interaction, certain amigos can become great friends through several degrees of seperation.  You can make an alpha helix keeping the usually introvert hydrophobics with the hydrophobics on the inside and keeping the extrovert hydrophilics on the outside having a blast with polar water molecules!  You can also make beta sheets in which several sheets of friendship can interact with other groups of mutual friends through parallel or antiparallel ways.  And there are also many motifs in which alpha helices and beta sheets can interact.

And soon enough, when friend circles collide like this, there's no avoiding the development of love.  That's when you enter the tertiary structure of the protein called Life.  Some amigo acides will have a crush on one another with simple hydrogen bonds or weak Van der Waals interactions.  Some amigo acids may have a dynamic manic-depressive personality...and so they'll be so negative or positive that they'll make ionic bonds with others of the opposite charge. (This of course depends on the dielectric constant of the one-night-stand)  Hydrophobic interactions might also be possible for those less outgoing and less charged.  In rare cases, two close or distant amigos may have a romantic cystiene-like personality with a sulfer-containing R-group.  If these two get close enough, they may make a strong disulfide bond.  A wonderful relationship like "peas and carrots."   However, if things get a little greasy in the environment of the relationship, a little Beta-mercaptoethanol (alcohol!) or some urea (smelly waste!) or some guanidine hydrochloride (GDdnHCl aka acidic actions!)can break up the disulfide bond and the two amigo acids may not ever come back together again until the environment is cleaned up.

Eventually the domains of many of these proteins will interact with other domains.  And the quaternary structure of a massive protein called Society can be formed.  Each domain may have a particular purpose to carry out.  Each domain may have a particular characteristic.  Each domain may be very much like a country in the world.  Each with its own customs, religion, language, and structure.  Sometimes a few domains will join forces to target a common foe...like a substrate called Terrorism...and these societal domains may choose to promote the substrate and send signals for anabolism of it or they might be responsible for the catabolism of the substrate.  Such substrates are always floating in the world.  No one really knows where they come from.  Some are produced by societal domains themselves.  And yet some of them are so unexpected, uncontrollable, and deadly like hurricanes powerful enough to prevent societal domains from functioning. 

There are good things in the world too.  It's the responsibility of proteins to distinguish between right and wrong, and develop their structure so that they may be able to interact and be ready for unanticipated substrates.  If proteins work together on common problems, they can help their world or the cell in which they exist to become a better place for them all.  And then, cells can be healthy enough to provide support for the tissues they are a part of, and tissues work together to make organs function as they are supposed to.  And organs like the heart pump essential nutrients and chemicals to the cells so that the proteins in the cells may get more good substrates than bad ones.  This can only be possible if the body or the Universe takes good care of itself and eats the right food, gets enough exercise, and develops a calm peace of mind.  Uh...so who's in charge of the body aka the Universe?   Hmmm, there must be a God, with and within us all.

Wow, I didn't realize that people actually paid attention to the tags on blogs and utilized them for sources of information.

I recently received this comment:

I came to your blog looking for some Biochemistry (this post is tagged as Biochemistry). I did not find any. Anyway, I believe it was a nice visit since I liked the way you write and the topics that you post about.

Best wishes. continue your blog!

www.biochemistryquestions.wordpress.com
 

This comment flatters me since I don't really believe I write well.  But nonetheless, I appreciate the encouraging compliment.  What amazes me more is that blogs are more and more utilized these days as a source of information.  With the development of Wikipedia, YouTube and numerous other websites, I suppose this comes as no surprise.  It does make me realize that reflective blogging does come with a lot of responsibility.  The spread of misinformation is always a possibility.  The Internet sure is amazing.

Anyways, so far I've only written 57 words for my NaNoWriMo.  Apparently I should be at around 10,000 words by now. Oh boy, I wonder if I will be able to accomplish the goal of 50,000 by the end of this month...especially with the impending onset of final exams and all.  It's going to be a busy next two weeks, but thanksgiving break will follow shortly thereafter.  

Wow, I can't believe my first quarter of medical school will soon be over!  It's incredible to think how fast things have gone by.  I could force myself to not have any regrets, but to have no regrets would almost be closing the door for improvement next quarter.  And I know I can do better than this.  I can always do better.   And I don't mean with just school.   

I suppose I shall have to start thinking new years resolutions during break.  Until then, time to study for anatomy and biochemistry!!!  (and I shall not tag this post as "biochemistry") :-P

My individual response for the last biochemistry Team Application Exercise for the quarter.  Contrary to popular belief, I love these TAE's!  :-)

"Perhaps it is impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be"

- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

According to my values and from what I have learned from our patient-centered relationship lecture in Biochemistry 1501, a professional relationship is one that is other-focused for the most part, while a personal relationship can be more self-centered.  Three key differences between both relationships lie in what I’d like to call the temporal, authenticity, and partiality aspect of each relationship.   Professional relationships, in my opinion, should maintain a consistent projection of empathy and attention to all people equally.   This caring behavior may not necessarily be genuine, and in most cases it isn’t.  More often it, the caring attitude may be merely out of obligation for the sake of the profession, but it is important to make the patient believe that you truly care about them.  This will not only facilitate in gaining the proper history and diagnosis for the patient, but it will also prevent negligence of humanism on the part of the physician.   It is important not to reveal the fact that you don’t really want to be with them (C) because the illusion of empathetic care is necessarily for establishing a proper professional relationship.  And it is also in my opinion, that there are times when even though we start out pretending to care about something or someone, that illusion may transform into a reality as we put in more interest into the act and what we gain from it. 

            While a professional relationship may not necessarily be genuine, impartial, and inconsistent, a personal relationship relies on different ideals, in my opinion.  A personal relationship is more self-focused and partial while maintaining some consistency.   Based on the self-centered ideal of personal relationships, one might immediately believe that a truly personal relationship involves being with another person only when you really want to be with them.  This is not necessarily true, in my opinion.  There is also an element of consistency in which personal relationships should be handled.  In order to form and maintain personal relationships, it is important to find a way to always want to be with another when you are with them.   The effort to do this is effective and practical for a personal relationship by being always genuine contrary to a professional relationship and other-focused similar to a professional relationship.   Of course, there is sometimes some self-motive involved with personal relationships, and so, it makes sense when the relationship could be one-sided where the dependency on being with another relies on only when you truly want to be with them.   Also, personal relationships may rely on discrimination and bias.  There are some people we get along with better than other, and so we can’t help but to not genuinely want to be with some people. 

Again the main difference between professional and personal relationships is that professional relationships can be more effective when they are not constrained to being genuine.  Personal relationships, on the other hand, should strive to be truly authentic and honest with the care expressed between one another. However, sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy.  It would not be very friendly, for example, to claim that you are only with someone because you are obligated to be and not because you want to be.   Even if this is true, it can be hurtful to the other.  Answer choice C, as a result, is least effective and practical in both personal and professional relationships.

And I end this post with something from a song I like:

What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends